In psychology, there are three widely accepted theories of determinism.
First we have the Genetic Determinism Theory that says we are determined by the genetics of our family. If you’re a very shy person, according to this theory, this is because your grandparents were shy people too. It’s just in your DNA. Besides, most Filipinos are shy, conservative people. It runs in the blood. Given that you have the genetic makeup of a shy person, you’ll be a shy person for the rest of your life.
Secondly, we have the Theory of Psychic Determinism that says it’s the fault of your parents. According to this theory, you are who you are today and tomorrow because of the way you were raised by your parents as a child. It’s not a wonder you’re a shy person because when you were a child, you were raised by very shy parents who didn’t encourage you as a child to join singing and talents contests. Since you were raised as a shy child, you’ll be a shy person for the rest of your life.
And thirdly, we have the theory of Environmental Determinism that says we are determined by our environment, by the people, things and circumstances around us. Someone or something in our environment tells you that you are shy, thus, you’ll be shy for the rest of your life.
Each of these theories is based on the stimulus/ responses theory we learned in Pavlov’s experiments with dogs and rats. We are conditioned to respond in a particular way to a particular stimulus.
Yet, is this really true? Let me share to you a story about a man who defied these three theories.
Viktor Frankl was a Jewish psychologist who believed that whatever happens to him as a child will determine his whole life. He was one of those unfortunate souls who was imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany, where he experienced innumerable tortures, physical deprivation, humiliation and constant face to face with death. Except for his sister, his entire family perished. Yet despite so much pain and suffering, he was able to live a meaningful and fulfilled life. In his words, “Despite everything bad that man faces, between stimulus and response, he always has within him the POWER TO CHOOSE.”
I’m writing this article to impress into your minds and hearts that you have that within you all along the key to living a fulfilling and significant life but, unfortunately, you may not be living because you may have by default chosen a life that you seemingly feel helpless and widely determined by your upbringing, peers and environment.
I want to affirm to you that you have the ability to shape your life regardless of your circumstance, to tell you the hard fact that you are who you are today because of the choices you have made and to inspire you to exercise that power of choice you have to shape your life in small but meaningful ways. By doing so, you’ll come to understand that BETWEEN STIMULUS AND RESPONSE IS OUR POWER TO CHOOSE.
It’s not about your past. Though, it’s true that you are who you are today because of your past. But, my friends come to think about it, is that really suppose to be something that should stop you from becoming who you need to be? You see, I had a hard time growing up because prior to my family being in the business we’re in today, I lived in a low middle class household where most of the time I didn’t bring any baon in school because we didn’t have that much money, wore socks and shoes with holes and walked from home to school 5 KM daily. My parents were able to provide us with basic necessities but not many venues to develop our potentials. I was a really shy kid who had a hard time making friends during my childhood days and an average student who always got into trouble in grade school and high school because I was such a slow learner and a rebellious student. But do you think I let all of these things put me down and determine who I’ll be for the rest of my life? NO! All along, I knew that I’m a winner. Why? Because I decided to be. When I entered college, I made the firm decision to be the best person that I can be. I am who I am now and I’m far better off than most of my age group because I didn’t allow my past to determine me. I simply exercise that power of choice to transcend my past, my upbringing. The best is yet to come. If a guy such as lowly as I am who had a lot of so called “liabilities” and doubts way back can do it, so can you! It’s not about your past.
It’s not about your circumstance. It’s not about your family, your friends, your peers, the government or Global Warming. Though your circumstance may affect you, it doesn’t need to be. You have the power to choose. As the popular Alcoholic Anonymous prayer goes, “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Michael Jordan went home, locked himself in his room and cried when he was cut off from his high school basketball team. Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper company because he lacked imagination. One of Thomas Edison’s teachers told him that he was stupid. Abe Lincoln was a failure in every sense. Jose Rizal could have lived a comfortable life but he chose the opposite and got shot by a volley of bullets as a consequence. And Jesus Christ could have taken the easier way but he has chosen the cross for you and me. I can go on and on and on with this. These men are ordinary men like you and me who became extraordinary not because of the seemingly impossible circumstances they had conquered but because they affirmed to us that we humans have the inert ability to choose our responses to circumstances no matter how hard or depressing our circumstances may be. You are powerful beyond any circumstance.
It’s all about you having the ability to choose. Between stimulus and response is your ability to choose. Accept the fact that you are who you are today because of the decisions you made yesterday. You may not like who you are now but it’s the first step of acknowledging that you are responsible of your life.
By now, you have acknowledged that you as an individual have the power to choose. We don’t need to go to the death camps of Viktor Frankl to recognize and develop our ability to choose. It’s simply in the ordinary events of our lives that we develop this ability to choose as we confront extraordinary pressure on making a living, facing life problems or simply how we handle a traffic jam and respond to waiting in lines. I would like to end by challenging you to exercise this power to choose for 30 days and see what happens with your Circle of Influence. In these 30 days, stop yourself from thinking that the problem is out there and start making decisions on how you would like to see and live life. By exercising this power to choose day by day, you expand your freedom to be who you believe you need to be and live a life that you believe you should live.
As Kahlil Gibran of the book “The Prophet” best said it, “You choose your joys and sorrows long before you experience them.”
Between stimulus and response is your indispensable ability to choose.
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