According to personal accounts, it has been said that Colonel Harland Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken or popularly known as KFC today, had to face 1008 “no’s” before being able get a “yes” to sell his special chicken recipe to a restaurant.
And the amazing feat doesn’t stop there, he did this not during his 20s, 40s nor 50s but during his 60’s, specifically when he was at the age of 65. To add, he was selling his chicken recipe for 2 long, agonizing years. He had to because at the age of 65, he had nothing to show for but an old beat up car, a 100 dollar paycheck from his pension plan and his chicken recipe. But did Colonel Sanders allowed these things to stop him? And to think about it, he had to face 1008 “no’s” before he got his chance to make it big. That’s a whole lot of NO, NO, NO, NO’s and Colonel Sanders had to face all of these NO’s for two long years. Well, he may not be the most effective salesman but you got to admire that man’s persistence and determination! The average person would give up after facing 20 or less rejections, how much more a hundreds or even thousands of rejections? That’s why, average people are called AVERAGE. And on the other hand, we have great men such Colonel Sanders who had to face a thousand of rejections, Thomas Edison who had to face 10,000 failures to create the perfect light bulb, Jose Rizal who had an entire Spanish regime against him and Jesus Christ who today have millions and even billions who reject Him.So what’s the message in here? My message in here, dear reader, is at some point of our lives, we’re going to face rejection, whether we like it or not. It’s inevitable! Given that it’s inevitable, why are then a lot of us spend so much of our energies and resources trying to avoid the inevitable instead of learning how to deal with it? According to motivation theories in psychology, when faced by a stimulus, living organisms have 2 basic reactions: FIGHT or FLIGHT. In a FIGHT response, an organism gets ready to engage in combat and destroy a stimulus. While in a FLIGHT response, an organism’s adrenaline fluids, body and metal system are set to escape a given a stimulus. That goes the same to us humans when it comes to REJECTION. People react to REJECTION by both RUNNING away from it and FIGHTING it. As much as possible, the average human person does everything to avoid rejection. Therefore, we a have lot of people who procrastinate, don’t ask for anything or don’t share their opinions and ideas in order to avoid rejection. And if rejection cannot be avoided, people get ready to fight and go to battle with rejection and the rejecter by expressing anger, blaming, shouting, and even becoming physically violent.
The issue, then, is not whether rejection is inevitable or not because we know that it’s really inevitable. The issue is that people finds it very, very, very HARD to deal with rejection.
Ah, rejection, why is it so hard to deal with when a lot of great men and women are molded out of it?
According to mental health science, a person’s physical and mental health deteriorates when a person constantly thinks of negative feelings such as depression and anger. Out of these negative feelings, negative ideas manifest which harmfully affects the overall physical and mental health of a person. And in turn, shortens one’s lifespan. Knowing this, the problem with us people is that, we tend to associate rejection as something negative. Since we associate it with something negative, we naturally avoid it and if we can’t, we fight it! Which are very natural responses but a very big mistake as humans.
It has been proven over and over again in psychology and other myriads of social sciences, that what sets us apart human beings from the animals is THE FACT that we humans are capable of making choices. In fact according to Stephen Covey, best seller author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Between Stimulus and Response, is our indispensable capability TO CHOOSE our RESPONSE. In other words, just because we’re faced with something negative, doesn’t mean we need to react to it negatively. When faced with a stimulus, fight and flight responses are simply 2 of the many choices of responses we can make.
Furthermore, according to renowned psychologist Sigmund Freud’s theory of Pain Versus Pleasure, we associate things, experiences and people as either painful or pleasurable. The experience of rejection is not an exception. Most people associate rejection as something negative. That’s why majority of people spend majority of their lives avoiding rejection.
Thus, I have 2 points to affirm to you when it comes to rejection:
Point number 1: Rejection is inevitable. And since it’s inevitable, accept it. Do not fight or run away from it but simply accept it. Remember, the great men and women of history didn’t fight or run away from rejection but they simply faced it, stood up to it, dealt with it and more, importantly, accepted it. People who fight or run away from rejection are no different from animals. Commit to accepting rejection as a major part of life.
And the moment you accept rejection as part of life, which bring me to point number 2: Associate rejection as a positive opportunity for growth. Stop associating rejection as something negative and start seeing it as something positive. Remember, you are a human being capable of making choices and also remember the theory of Pain Versus Pleasure, you can choose to see something as either painful or pleasurable as a human person. If you’re really serious with living to the fullest, see rejection as a potential opportunity for growth. As the old muscle building adage best said it, “No pain, no gain.” Rejection is a positive pain which leads you to greater gains. You don’t grow your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual muscles by taking the easy path in life but by taking rejection as something painful yet positive in making you the best person you can be.
The greatest men and women who ever lived are those who are rejected the most. You don’t build a good name by kissing the butts of everybody but by living life and making choices with principles which you believe will make you the best person you can be. Dear reader, if you’re really serious with living a significant life, do yourself a favor: accept rejection as part of life and see it as an opportunity for growth. If you do so, you’re better off compared to 90% of people you meet everyday who don’t really know what it means to live because they don’t take risks in life. It’s your destiny to be a great man or woman. Accept it and commit to the responsibility it entails!
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