Move On: Dealing With Personal Change

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It has been said that there are 3 certainties in life:

Number 1: Death

Number 2: Taxes

And

Number 3: Change…

Of the three certainties, we can handle the first two better. Yet when it comes to CHANGE, a lot of us have hard time dealing with it.
Let me make it clear to you, the change I’m talking about is not the change for the sake of change nor change from bad to worse but POSITIVE CHANGE.  Given that it’s positive, why is it, then, are we having a hard time dealing with it? Before we answer that, let me first define to you what change is not by using Webster's dictionary but by relating to you a story of a distinguished person who experienced real change because I know that a lot of us know what change is by mind but not necessarily by heart.

This guy came from a very poor yet hardworking family. His parents sent him to school because they believe that education is important in alleviating their economic condition. Since he was not a very smart young man, he had to repeat high school! Yet when he entered college, he excelled! Why? It’s because he had a girlfriend. And with a girl friend, comes in-laws. And when you have in-laws, you become a subject of criticism! That’s why during college, he excelled in his academics and became president a number of times in a lot of college organizations. After college, he entered the garments industry in the Philippines. And can you guess what his first job was? The first job of this very smart, brilliant and goal oriented person was a MANIKIN DRESS CHANGER. You read that right: a manikin dress changer! So he was in charge of dressing up manikins. You think that’s degrading? Listen to what he said during one of his interviews when he related this experience:

“Parang mali ‘tong napasukan ko ah. Pero hindi bale, kahit na manikin changer lang ako.

I will be the fastest manikin changer in the Republic of the Philippines."

Now, that’s an attitude of a man committed to change! One of the things he observed long before he was successful was the fact that he saw a lot of people earning a lot but were not studying. In other words, they were spending their money elsewhere but never on growth and development. What our manikin dress changer do that sets him apart from a lot of people was that he saved and invested his savings on books about business, self development, leadership and public relations. Then one day, he was invited to be one of the partners of a garment startup company. Since we know he didn't have any money, what he contributed was a ruler, a pad of paper, a #2 mongol pencil and his skills which he learned in the books which he bought with his savings. After how many years, his company became a success! He had everything! He had fame, money, the lifestyle, a family and he lived happily ever after, right? WRONG! He was already in his early 30’s and living the life a lot of us can only dream of. Yet, he wasn't happy and he didn't know what to do with the next 30 years of his life. He experienced depression to the point that there were days he can’t sleep and there was a time when he forgot the birthday of his wife. He was so messed up until one day, he prayed to the God that he be changed, praying that God will give him the grace to live a meaningful life. Then the next day, after sleeping for 16 hours, the most amazing thing happened: NOTHING HAPPENED! But he felt a sense of peace. He took the bible, read its verses and realized that it was something that he has been looking for all along. And from that day on, he went on to integrate the Word of God with his business dealings and the other aspects of his life.

Today, we know him as a multi-awarded and renowned international speaker and writer. He’s no other than speaker and writer: Francis J. Kong.

You see, Francis J. Kong and a whole lot of high performing individuals out there are enjoying the benefits of change simply because they are committed to personal change and the price it entails. As humans, we are meant and destined for growth not only physically but to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Just like a tree, it grows its roots, trunks, branches, leaves and fruits. Out of this growth, we enjoy eating the fruits it bears, the shade it gives, build a house or make a paper out of it, stop floods, create a wonderful surrounding or the benefit of clean air.  Yet unlike trees where change comes naturally, change to us humans is not an automatic process but a constant and conscious decision. Not simply a onetime thing but a moment by moment commitment to yourself. But if there’s one thing similar to us humans and trees is the fact that there are 2 possible things that can happen to us: we either grow to our fullest potentials OR we slowly die in the process. Make no mistake about it that change or growth is something we decide for ourselves. But the moment you stop changing, you already made the decision, consciously or unconsciously, to die. That’s why it’s not such surprise to see a lot of living zombies around us who have signed their death sentence whether they know it or no. Some of them may be our family members, our close friends and our coworkers. The benefits of changing for the better far outweigh the pain of not changing. Yet, why is it that a lot of people, a lot of us, spend so much of our time, money and resources avoiding and resisting change? In fact, a lot of die hard individuals would do anything even fight to the death to defend the status quo which, logically and practically, most of the time doesn't make sense. Why is it?

Ah, Change. Why is it so hard? One thinks.

In the Flight of the Buffalo, James Belasco and Ralph Stayer says:

“Change is hard

because people OVERestimate

the value of what they have

—and UNDERestimate the value of what they may gain

by giving that up."

The reason why people would do everything and anything in their power to avoid change is because a lot of people are not committed to change.

Yes, all of us want to be successful, all of us want the best in life, all of us want to live a certain lifestyle but, unfortunately, although all of us want all these, NOT EVERYONE is committed to pay the price of these goals. And most of the time, the price these goals entails CHANGE. And CHANGE, as we all know by now means giving up the old to make room for something better. Personally, it can mean giving up some unrewarding relationships to make room for meaningful ones. It can mean giving up some certain bad habits to make room for good ones. And all of the time, change is the giving up of yourself to make room for a stronger and better you.

Now that you know what change is, what it can give you and the cost it entails, I would like to ask you this hard but necessary question:

How sick are you with your life doing things over and over again wishing that you were someone or somewhere else?

Well, friends, I have news for you: you don’t need to be someone or somewhere if you’re not satisfied with the way you’re living your life. What you need to do is admit to yourself that you’re not happy with the way you’re living life and decide for yourself that you will change! I know with all my heart that you can change. For those who are committed to change, keep that up.

How badly do you really want to live the best life you can live?

How badly do you want your dreams in life?

If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for the people you love, do it for the people who means the world to you, do it for the people who believes in you. Decide, move on!

To end, I would like message to you:

Change is not something automatic but something you decide consciously. It is not something that happens overnight but something that takes time and lot of patience. But once you decide to commit to change, and I mean COMMIT to it even if it pains you, you’re doing what God intends you to be and that is: becoming the greatest person you can be who lives a meaningful life by doing what you’re passionate in life and being with the people you love who loves you with all their hearts.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said,

“Be the CHANGE you want to see.”

My friends, lets us be the change we want to see!