"Half of all people’s life’s problems would have answers if only they can answer this very simple question. It’s so simple, yet a lot of people find it hard to answer. And the question is: WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
-Blade, Founder of Dubai Lair
The main reason why majority of people are not happy is because they don’t find any meaning or purpose in living their lives.
It’s then not such a surprise to hear news of people committing suicide these days and to see people who may be alive physically but are dead emotionally and spiritually. When you ask people how they are, they usually say that they’re “OK”, “Great!” or “Amazing!” Yet when you look at them straight in the eye and seriously ask the question, “How are you? Really.” They’d still just say that they’re “Fine.” In turn, you say, “OK.” Yet deep inside, you know for a fact that they’re not “OK,” “Great!” or “Fine” but are broken, lost, frustrated and unhappy. But heck, who cares whether these people are happy or not, right? What I would like to talk about in here is you. Yes, you read that right: YOU!
It’s then not such a surprise to hear news of people committing suicide these days and to see people who may be alive physically but are dead emotionally and spiritually. When you ask people how they are, they usually say that they’re “OK”, “Great!” or “Amazing!” Yet when you look at them straight in the eye and seriously ask the question, “How are you? Really.” They’d still just say that they’re “Fine.” In turn, you say, “OK.” Yet deep inside, you know for a fact that they’re not “OK,” “Great!” or “Fine” but are broken, lost, frustrated and unhappy. But heck, who cares whether these people are happy or not, right? What I would like to talk about in here is you. Yes, you read that right: YOU!
Are you really happy? Seriously.
(and while you’re busy thinking about it, smack that fake smile off your face please.)
Sure, we can wear masks, pretend to be happy through smiling and positive thinking and fool everybody that everything is honky dory. In fact, we can even fool ourselves in the process! Pretending, faking or doing “happy” things may help in the short run but it leaves you frustrated because you know deep inside that you’re not.
You see this guy here?
This is John Beluchi. He was a world renowned comedian.
John Beluchi was a very ambitious guy who had crazy dreams on entertaining and making the world laugh. He had these outrageous goals in life which he committed to accomplish. He started off as a comedian and got really successful with it. He was known in every US household as a funny guy. After his stints as a nationally recognized comedian, he started his film career as a movie star and a director of movies which he did very successfully. Not only that, he composed songs and created remarkable music which he again did successfully. Everybody loves this guy and he was very popular. He spent money to afford a great life and earned experiences which average people can only dream of.
Yep, Beluchi got it all. But, was he happy? Was he successful?
Probably happy and successful in the outside but guess what happened to him:
He killed himself.
Yep, Beluchi did a lot of great things to make the world happy through his entertainment, comedy and music. Yet he forgot or neglected to make himself truly happy. Sure, he did a lot of fun and happy things but I bet he didn’t find anything meaningful behind these things. If he was truly happy, he shouldn’t have committed suicide because he got something meaningful going on in his life. But, that’s not the case for him and millions of people. Probably, including you.
When I hear these kinds of stories, I say to myself, “What a waste.” Well friend, I’ve got news for you, look at yourself in the mirror. Can you say the same thing?
Before you do something stupid like Beluchi or commit yourself to a life of empty happiness and frustration, I believe it’s important to know what brings us happiness.
Happiness means different things to a lot of people. For many it can mean having lots of money, being popular and powerful, becoming the best person one can be, making a difference in the lives of others and so on. Sure, these things can make us happy but can it TRULY make us happy? Because you see, there are a lot of people who have the money in the world but are dead broke spiritually. There are those who perform in peak levels but are frustrated. And there are also those who are making a difference in the lives of people but feel nothing different in their personal lives.
What then truly brings us happiness?
Ladies and gentlemen, what truly brings us happiness is A SENSE OF PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Once you have that sense of purpose or meaning in your life, 50% of your life battles are already won. A great example of this truth is on Viktor Frankl’s observations.
Viktor Frankl was a Jewish psychologist and was one of those unfortunate souls who was imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany during the World War 2. In the death camps he experienced innumerable tortures, physical deprivation, humiliation and constant face to face with death along with fellow Jews. After these experiences of so many deaths and suffering, he had observed one distinct quality which many of his fellow survivors had. Survivors in the death camps survived not because of survival skills or their family background or biological advantages but because these survivors had a SENSE OF PURPOSE or MEANING on why they needed to survive. A lot saw themselves surviving from the horrific experiences and fulfilling a worthwhile life mission.
On the other hand, those who lost hope and didn’t find any sense of meaning or purpose in their circumstances committed suicide, became passive or simply died. In summarizing these experiences, Viktor Frankl has got this statement to say to each and one of us:
“Our main motivation for living is our will to find meaning in life.”
This is very true in the lives of people we admire like Mahatma Gandhi, Jesus Christ, Jose Rizal, Ninoy Aquino and other people we aspire to be. These people have faced a lot of trials and challenges (and some of them got really pissed off too!) and experienced successes as well. More importantly, these people had a sense of meaning or purpose in their lives. Even doing the most menial things were done with so much passion and vigor because of that sense of meaning. What makes a man great is not his great deeds but his great mission behind every deed.
Are all these people successful? Well, probably not all of them if we’re to base it on external success.
But are these people truly happy? YOU BET THEY ARE!
Why? Because they had a sense of mission, a sense of purpose.
The answer then to happiness is to find that meaning in your life.
That something that you truly want.
That something which excites you even if what you’re doing is boring.
That something which makes you wake up early in the morning to work hard and keeps you up in the middle of the night.
This is best illustrated in the Parable of the Bricklayer:
"All three construction workers are doing the same job,
but when asked,
one says, ‘I’m laying bricks.’
The second says, ‘I’m building a wall.’
And the third says, ‘I’m building a cathedral.”
Friend, are you building a cathedral?
Me: What do I want in life?
You: I want to be happy!
Me: Like duh! Who doesn’t?
All of us want to be truly happy. To be truly happy we need to have a sense of purpose or meaning in our lives. And that purpose is usually summarized in mission and vision statements.But before doing so, you got to have an idea on what you truly want in life. To help you identify these, read this article I've written for you:
“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” -Robert Byrne
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